Late Entry for Reflection Journal

Ah yes, procrastination. I'm not sure anyone has this art perfected quite as much as a student. Notice my late entry for this blog? Oh yes, I'm absolutely included. Why must I procrastinate so much? I'm a total nerd and love school and yet I still leave things until the last minute. I decided to write on this topic (procrastination) last week as I was realizing the panic of what I needed to get done. I left work Wednesday with the following to-do list: (...brief break while I tend to an important matter before it gets put into the procrastination pile!...) a 6-8 page literature review (due Sunday that I've known about since August), a final grant report (due Monday that I've known about all month), and a test to write (that I gave today and scheduled back in August) -- along with all of my normal other "stuff". And all on Halloween weekend. Now, I know Halloween comes every year and that stuff can wait, but I figure I probably only have 12 Halloweens before Addie wants nothing to do with me, so I have to take full advantage.

I ended up finishing the literature review last night, 2 hours before it was due (at least I don't wait until literally the last minute/second) -- after trick-or-treating (and after about 4 hours of sleep the previous night). Thankfully I already had a good start. See, I don't usually put off the entire thing until the very last second. I often start strong with intentions of finishing things early and then fizzle and don't finish until I'm completely stressed and afraid I'm going to miss a deadline. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why must I let it get to the point of a breakdown before I actually do it? I think this should be a New Year's resolution -- to start early and continue at a steady pace instead of cramming. And it's not that I hate doing it -- I don't mind writing actually and I am researching an interesting topic. But I like to have a nice, uninterrupted chunk of time to focus, and that rarely happens these days with work and family. I've heard multiple times that you should set aside short amounts of time each day, like an hour or less, to write -- to help eliminate this procrastination game of waiting for the "right moment" -- but I have yet to heed this advice. I actually have it scheduled on my calendar, but I always ended up focusing on some other teaching task for the day. I decided on my way in today that I wanted to finish all of my class prep for the semester this week so I can focus on research efforts, but I tend to always do that and then don't get to the research. :) I suppose we'll see how far I get on Wednesday...

I do know why I was waiting on this final grant report. I wasn't happy with my performance and didn't want to "own up" to my slacking. I was urged to apply for this grant at the last minute and frantically threw together a proposal -- which got approved! I struggled through identifying exactly what I was researching and trying to integrate my collaborating faculty, and what I did put out there didn't give me very good data -- and I got pregnant in the middle of this and had a baby, which took a bit of time away. So I was reporting back some failures that I didn't want to admit to and although I'm still not happy with my outcomes, I do think I'll have at least one publication and a poster presentation from my efforts. And it's off my plate so I don't have to worry about it anymore! :) (well other than the publications...)

Thankfully I have a number of years of previous exams, so I was able to put the test together this morning. I hate when I write tests at the last minute, but there may be some benefit to my students. I'm often too pressed for time to add additional questions, and probably end up writing less in-depth questions because they're easier to write. :) That, or maybe I just write really confusing questions! I suppose we'll see once I get these graded...

So yes, it was a month of putting off what I knew was to come, and a weekend of family time over work and school. But I made it and it's a new month and new week with a new, very long list of to-do's...