I'm not fat, I'm big boned!

A couple weeks ago I started to feel really run down. As soon as I'd get home from work I'd be ready for bed, and on days I had Addie I would fall asleep in the afternoons. Not usual for me. I figured it was a nutrition issue or I was getting sick. The next week (last week) I started feeling sick to my stomach. What was up with me? I felt sick Monday, okay Tuesday, and sick again Wednesday. Thursday when I was home with Addie I thought to myself, "I have a pregnancy test sitting in the bathroom. I know that's not it, but I may as well take it just to exclude that as an option." So I took that fun little test and was about to leave the room as it was "reading" and glanced to see . . . two lines! What? I had so convinced myself that I wasn't that I was genually shocked. Not that it was unheard of, I just wasn't prepared. A big smile crept across my face. :) Now I HAVE to tell Loren. Be he's at work and I don't like to call him at work. I know, I'll take a picture of the test and send it to him. So I got a halfway decent shot and sent it on it's way. No response. This was about 10am. Hmm. That's it, I have to see him -- we'll meet him for lunch. Addie of course took a super long nap right when we needed to leave, but we made it right after he left for his lunch break. He said he figured it out, but it took him a while -- he didn't know what the picture was of. :) I guess guys aren't as used to seeing those things. So I went to the doctor yesterday and we're guessing I'm 4-6 weeks which puts me due in June. I'm still really tired (I fell asleep at 7:30pm on Wednesday!) and a little sick to my stomach, but pregnancy tea is really helping. I have my dating ultrasound scheduled in December, but in the meantime I'm going to set up a consultation with Treasure Valley Midwives to explore that as an option for this delivery. I'll admit that there's a little panic concerning having a newborn with a toddler, but we're super excited! Loren is really hoping for a boy this time.

So in reference to my title, no I'm not just getting fat. There really is a reason for it. Nobody has commented, but I feel like I'm showing (even though I'm so early!). Pants are just starting to get a bit snug. Oh, and I'm eating like a pig, so that's probably not helping. :)

So, that's my news. Wish us luck in our new adventure. :)

Heard back from teacher

She sent a new midterm. This time only 15 questions, and out of the reading that was assigned. Whew! But still 20 pages, so I better get on it . . .

I should just go to bed

So I'm already stressing today because I have so much going on at work (see previous post) and have been sick for the last week, which doesn't help the productivity factor. Add to that the fact that I know my midterm for the class I'm taking (an adult education class from U of I -- I'm a traitor, I know) is due in 2 weeks, and the last couple weeks I've been slacking on my reading. So I decide that tonight I will work on it, so I don't have to cram it in on one night (something I encourage my students NOT to do). Per the site when I last checked (it's an online class), the midterm was a 5-7 page summary of our readings for the last month or so (I know, easy, right?). I log in tonight to find that she's posted a new midterm consisting of 20 questions, and expects it to be about 20 pages long! Great. Let me check what I've done so far and hopefully I can expand and tweak as needed (I had been answering questions she posted about the reading that I had done). Then, as I'm reading the questions, I realize that questions 8-20 are on chapters that not only have I not read, but were not assigned yet. WTH? I have had absolutely no guidance in this class. It's online, and basically the teacher said 'hi' at the beginning, and told us to look at the syllabus and course site. No discussion board, no interaction with classmates, no guidance on what our observation hours are supposed to consist of and very little guidance on our final paper. That's fine -- I can self-manage, but I assumed everything was all set up. You can't go and change assignments and reading in the middle of the semester! Grr. I sent her an email. I'm not saying she's a bad teacher (I don't think anyone is a "bad" teacher, we just definitely have our strengths), but she needs to check her course site more often and make sure it's up to date. I'm always changing my classes and run into updating problems, but nothing as big as forgetting to tell my students that they have to write 20 pages on 20 chapters I didn't tell them to read!

Okay, done venting. Hopefully I'll hear back tomorrow. Cross your fingers it's a mistake, and she gave us the wrong questions. I do not want to try to cram in 12 more chapters and 12 more pages in the next 2 weeks along with everything else!

Just an Update

Hey there, just had some time (Addie and Daddy are both asleep), so thought I'd update a few things and add some pics from last weekend.

After visiting at my Grandma's, I mentioned that we went and played in the park with Leisa and Kyndell. Here is the shrug I knit for Kyndell. I have no idea why it's sideways (it's not that way on my computer), but I don't feel like figuring out how to fix it right now.

I made Addie model it first.

And here it is on the birthday girl. It fits pretty good, although I miss my bind off would have been a bit more loose. I think I'll make one for Addie too (with ALL the spare time I have).


I mentioned that we were going to the Hyde Park Street Fair with my buddy Jason, and his daughter Luna. Here she is on the big inflatable slide:


Addie just wanted to go see the giraffe that was being used for the beanbag toss.

We ate, walked around a bit, and let the kiddos play.





I also knit this newborn hat for my friend TJ, who is expecting his son, Cooper, within the next month. It's the baby version of BSU colors (TJ is a fellow BSU faculty member). He loved it and now wants a matching one, but I need to order more yarn! (Sorry for the lopside pic again)


Okay, last pic. Addie is really into putting food in her hair these days. Particularly pasta noodles.


Hmm, what else to update. I've had a cold since Tuesday, which is awesome since Loren's birthday was Thursday. Addie and I did pick him up for lunch and met up with my brother (who offered to take us to lunch), which was nice, but that was about it. I gave Loren a beanie, which he thought was from Etsy, but I was sure to correct him to let him know I made it. He was doubting me! I'll post pics one of these days. I also got him a new mp3 player (from Addie) -- it's just a 4GB Sansa. He broke the charge for his old iPod shuffle and then Addie broke the USB part of my old iPod. Loren also got to go golfing this morning at a new course (at least new to him) in Nampa and I'm hoping to take him to lunch and a movie tomorrow (my mom is watching Addie). I say "hoping" because Addie just caught my cold last night, so it depends on how she's doing (although it didn't seem to slow her down a bit today).

No news on the pregnancy front. My body seems to be a bit slow getting back into rhythm after having Addie, BC, and extended breastfeeding. No hurry -- I have plenty of time. I'm not worried about it. I actually think I'm going to make an appointment with a chiropractor (a particular one recommended by a friend that practices a holistic approach). I'm still losing my hair like crazy, and just don't feel as healthy as I could be. Thinking I'll go see if something is out of whack (other than my usual). ;)

Until next time.

Feelin' the Love

My aunt pointed out today that I haven't been blogging much lately and by all of the new posts I have yet to read (of the blogs I'm following) I'd say she's right. Addie's asleep and Loren is at a concert, so what better time? Now just need to remember what all I have to say. :)

I'll start with today since it's the freshest. Addie and I headed out to my Grandma Dean's house this morning for a girl's day. My mom was there, as well as my Aunt Chris and cousin Lisa. We looked at pretty pictures of Alaska (Chris just got back from a cruise), ate a delicious lunch, learned how to can peaches and make macaroni salad, and gabbed, of course. It was a great time. I forget sometimes how much I love my family. We just always have a great time and don't have the drama and problems I hear about in so many other families. After that Addie and I headed to the park to meet up with Kyndell and Leisa. Kyndell's birthday party was last weekend, but we didn't make it because we were at a wedding, so we met up to give her her gift. Usually at a park, especially a new one, Addie is mostly stuck to me, or may wander just a bit. Not tonight. She took off for the playground and climbed to the top of the steps and went straight for the slide. I ran over to make sure was okay and she sat right down and went down the slide all by herself! And that was most of the evening. Up and down, up and down. Silly girl. Kyndell was right there with her, although her favorite was climbing back up the slide. I hadn't seen her forever -- of course she seems so much bigger! In fact, I think she outweighs Addie, although that's not hard to do. So Leisa and I chased the girls around and caught up a bit. I found out that Kyndell will be a big sister in about 8 months, which is exciting. Leisa and I may end up being pregnant together again!

Okay, now I'm going to backtrack to last weekend. Saturday Loren and I went to a wedding while Addie stayed with my mom. It was nice to have a bit of adult time. The wedding was gorgeous (it was at the botanical gardens) and then we headed up to the groom's parents for the reception. The bride and groom are really friends of Loren and Ryan -- I don't know them all that well. They're drinking buddies, and Loren has only really hung out with them in the last year or two -- when I was either pregnant or home with a newborn baby, so I haven't really been in a place to be drinking buddies with them. So I was very thankful that Ryan's girlfriend, Cassie was there. We were the antisocial recluses in the back corner. My kinda gal. That night Addie and I went over to Denise's for the BSU game and hung out with her, my dad, Sean and Erin, and Denise's dad. Addie had a good time playing with the dog and eating her dogfood. Sunday we had my family over (my dad and his girlfriend, Denise, my mom and stepdad, my brother and SIL, and Ryan was there for a bit) to celebrate our September birthdays (Erin, Sean, and Loren). We had pizza and some delicious cake (you can even ask Luke, since he snagged a huge chunk off the counter), opened presents, and chatted. Had a good time and Addie even bonded a bit with Uncle Sean. :)

Tomorrow I'm hoping to hit up the Hyde Park Street Fair with my buddy Jason and his daughter, Luna. Should be good times.

Hmm, what else. Work is crazy right now. I just have so many things going on. Along with teaching 2 classes, I'm also working with a coworker to write a chapter in a book, working with faculty across campus on ICD-10 research (we're hopefully doing a cost analysis of implementation for rural facilities), helping with some plans to potentially develop a Master's certificate, working on an article about tips and tricks of online teaching, participating in a faculty mentoring program, serving on the policy development and review committee for the college, serving on the promotion and tenure committee for the department, serving on an ICD-10 education workgroup for our national association (AHIMA), working on an ICD-10 task force for our state association (IdHIMA), and serving on the board of directors for IdHIMA. I also still need to take my exam to become a certified trainer for ICD-10 (the thing I went to Vegas for), am supposed to be doing some training to become an exam writer for our certification exam (the RHIT), and need to finish my IRB training (I'm also serving on the university's Institutional Review Board which reviews research projects). This is along with the advising that I always do, which includes a letter of recommendation that needs to be written, and some program curriculum changes. Ugh! I'm worn out just trying to remember all of the things I'm working on!

I think people can really just be too hard on themselves, whether it's how they look or their house looks, or their ability as a mom. I feel like I've matured a lot in the last year and can easily see past those superficial so-called merits of worth. I think that our society focuses too much on the wrong things, and we've lost sight of what traits are of true value. I was thinking tonight about how I tend to compare myself to others, which I think we all do, and compare Addie to other babies. I really need to stop doing that. What value is there in constantly comparing ourselves, so we can focus on all of the things we don't like? Why can't we (this a very general "we", myself included) just realize we're all different and that's what's wonderful? If we were all the same it would be boring, and we'd want the exact opposite. If we were all tall, thin, gorgeous super models with the "perfect body", the ideal would turn into something completely different. And I hate that I compare Addie. I catch myself doing it and try to stop. I don't need to project that on her. I of course think she's perfect, but I don't need to compare her to other kids to decide that, because that just makes me try to find faults in other kids I'm around. It's something I'm trying to work on. That and less gossiping and negative comments about people and their actions. Eek, I'm starting to sound like a bit of a hag . . .

So in one of my last blogs I was kind of complaining about friends and how some people just almost take too much effort. Well tonight I am feelin' the love! :) I just really appreciate all the wonderful people in my life and couldn't ask for a better family or greater friends. We have our ups and downs, but there are always great times to remember and I know that I can always call on them when I need them. I also have some friends going through some hard times and I think they are just amazing women and they help to remind me that I am so fortunate and that I shouldn't take anything (or anyone) for granted. So to all of you who read this (because I don't think I have any random strangers that read my blog), I love you and appreciate you. :)

What will the white witch say?

Ugh, I'm so tired. I should be cleaning and doing homework, but instead I'm just wasting time on the computer until Project Runway comes on. Along with being tired these days, my "stink" sense seems to be keener (everything stinks to me much more than usual), my stomach is bothering me randomly throughout the day, my heartburn is back for the first time since being pregnant, and my pants just seem to be a bit more snug . . . hmm, all signs point to something in the oven, but the little white stick with one line tells another story. I'm having lunch with a friend tomorrow, whom Loren lovingly calls "the white witch", who knew I was pregnant with Addie before I did (AND knew it was a girl), so I'm waiting to hear her verdict . . .

Not much other news to report. I haven't posted pics in a while, so for those of you not on Facebook, here are some new Addie pics.

Checking out a sheep at the fair.

And a goat.

The pygmy goats were my fave. :)

Petting the ridiculously laid back cow.

This is what she looks like when she wants to go outside.

Or when she wants the camera.

And when she doesn't get what she wants.

Here's her latest trick.

I swear, she always has a grubby face.

Mom's mistake of giving her markers.

We got these great ones while she was eating macaroni and cheese the other night. She's such a ham!

The other day she feel asleep in the highchair for the FIRST time.

We've hit up the zoo a few times this summer. Here she is with the baby giraffe statue. (It was a horrible pic of me, so I'm cropped out).

This porcupine was so cute! It had fallen asleep on the fence sitting in front of a fan that was blowing on it. Hilarious!

Here she is sneaking off to get on the slide.

Loren said it looked like I was way more excited!

Miss Grumpy Face

There's that smile!

Chillin' after Curb Cup with a little Ben n' Jerry's on her lip.

My Bailey Jo.

Okay, it's PR time. Make it work!

I'd Rather Be Blogging

I should really be doing housework right now but instead I'm eating ice cream and blogging. I'm on the laptop though because Loren is hogging the regular computer, so no pics. I'll have to add that stuff later.

So Loren found out Friday that he didn't get the job he applied for. I felt mixed emotions about it. On one hand I was very disappointed for him because I truly feel like he deserved it and he's worked really hard in the position he's in to "strategically place" himself for such an opportunity. I'm not sure their logic, but I really think he got screwed in the deal. And it's especially hard because he still works there, so it's difficult to not have hard feelings and resentment towards those we know made the decision. I'll also admit that I fantasized a bit about the extra money, and had already spent a large chunk of it in my head. So in those respects I was disappointed. But the thought of someone else watching Addie was already freaking me out a bit, so I'm glad he'll get to spend more quality time with her. He's bummed now, but everything happens for a reason and the time he'll have with her is precious and so much more valuable than status or money. So what started out as a good day Friday when Addie and I went and picked Loren up for lunch in the park, turned into him finding out this news upon his return, and me finding out when he got home.

That evening I had plans to go out with friends -- my first time out in a long time so I was excited and wanted to get all prettied up for the adventure. But the evening was a little bit of a dud. It was nice to see friends, but we just talked all night and the more I sat there the more I realized that I just don't have much in common with them anymore. I seem to outgrow friends regularly. I don't have that "best" friend that I've had my whole life who knows all of my deepest darkest secrets. I seem to recycle girlfriends regularly. It's not like it ends abruptly with a big fight or blowoff -- it just seems to slowly trickle away and turn into keeping in touch, but rarely actually doing anything together. I'm not sure if that's just me, or if that's how most relationships go. I do think people change, our interests and priorities change, and relationships are going to change with that. But with the really good friendships it does feel a bit like a breakup to me. There always seem to be a little bit of hard feelings about something that often don't get resolved until one of us just doesn't care or it's been long enough that we've forgotten. I don't like to see these friendships fade away, but I just don't have the time or energy to keep them up anymore. I can't play phonetag or text-tag (even worse) or email-tag for weeks just to arrange an hour get-together that still seems to be missing a key person. Or worry about their life changing events that I learn about in passing on MySpace or Facebook that apparently don't warrant a phone call or real conversation. I'm not exactly sure how to tell when it's "over" -- when does it warrant addressing the issue and when is it just the reality that the common bond is lost and that's okay? I've always had a hard time with friendships and often find myself setting too high of standards and expectations, only to be disappointed -- both in myself and in the other person. I think I'm at the point in my life that I realize the ones that really matter will make the effort and those friendships will last, and those that fall away were fun while they lasted.

So I'm just in a bit of a funk lately, and usually when this kind of stuff happens I tend to be a recluse for a bit. So if you don't see me much or I avoid get-togethers, I'm just sulking at home. :) No, I'm not looking for sympathy -- it's just the way I process things and sometimes I just need a break. It seems like we've been nonstop all summer and I think I just need some evenings and weekends home. Although I say that until I spend a Saturday home and then I'm dying to get out of the house by Sunday! :)